Many people are enduring real pain as a result of COVID-19. For some the pain is so intense that important relationships are fracturing. Suffering abounds.
Pain in life is often unavoidable but suffering comes from how we deal with pain— whether psychic, emotional, physical, or otherwise — and is optional.
Pain can cause us to separate ourselves, turning us inward in despair; and suffering results. Or we can choose to draw ourselves outward in kindness and compassion; we will still feel pain but our suffering will be reduced by our connection to others.
Even our wisest and most compassionate choices cannot eliminate pain. So, what cannot be cured must be endured. When we can’t remove pain, we can still find healing when we face it, embrace it, and thus transcend it.
Our Trials Are Invitations to Growth: The Parable of the Butterfly
Embracing the struggle of painful situations, especially ones outside our control, makes us more fully human. It also reminds me of the parable of the butterfly.
A butterfly struggles mightily to squeeze through a tiny hole in the chrysalis it built to transform itself from a caterpillar that crawls on the ground into a magnificent flying creature that soars in the sky. A man watching the struggle took pity on the butterfly and tried to help by cutting a larger opening in the chrysalis.
What the man didn’t know was that the butterfly’s survival depended on its struggle and since the butterfly never finished its painful journey through the impossibly small hole in the chrysalis, it was unable to send the fluids from its body into its wings. Its body stayed swollen and mushy and its shriveled wings didn’t expand; the pitiful creature was never able to fly.
You see, the struggle was a necessary part of the butterfly’s life; it was the only way the butterfly could become the beautiful soaring creature it was meant to be.
I’m not implying that anyone’s suffering should be left unattended. We must do everything in our power to relieve pain and suffering. But pain is a reality that afflicts us all at some point. And sometimes it’s even noble because of the opportunities for growth that it can present.
Helen Keller alluded to this when she said,
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
Kindness or Despair: It’s Always Our Choice
Perhaps our greatest human grace is kindness. Even in the face of pain, we can choose to be kind and generous with our presence.
Our great model and teacher is Jesus, who we just celebrated a few days ago. Though he was betrayed, tortured, and humiliated, he chose forgiveness since to do otherwise would have only propagated more pain. Similarly, we can choose to reduce the amount of pain and suffering in the world through our compassion and kindness.
Will the challenges and pain you feel in the losses from COVID-19 deepen your compassion or plunge you into despair? You have the power to choose.
Let us pray…
I have one more musical prayer, one that buoyed me during a time of job loss and financial instability. It reminded me that the world still is wonderful.